Match Play – Golf Poetry

MATCH PLAY 
STREPHON met Phyllis on the links 
Upon a breezy morning. 
Tee number one was introduced 
Without a single warning 
About the dangers of the game. 
Which certainly was stupid. 
The introducer, by the way, 
Was Mr. Daniel Q. Pidd. 
Tee number two; to watch the ball 
Was Strephon most attentive. 
But somehow, found his partner's face 
A most complete preventive. 
In consequence to number three 
Sir Strephon's strokes were plenty; 
And to believe what some folks say, 
Phyllis was "down" in twenty. 
At four, the "Punch-bowl," Strephon grew 
Inebriate completely; 
And Phyllis missed a six inch putt, 
But still kept smiling sweetly. 
At five, fair Phyllis out of bounds 
Soon sent the gutta flying. 
Yet didn't seem to find the slice 
Particularly trying. 
The fond swain strove at number six 
To drive off with his putter, 
Which, strangely, never caused Miss Phyllis
Surprised remarks to utter. 
The rest? Well, I can simply state 
The rumor now is spreading; 
Strephon and Phyllis handed in 
"No cards" — excepting "wedding." 
William H. Sayward, Jr. 
First published in Lyrics of the Links, 1921